This past weekend I was at a women's retreat and my good friend Conni Hudson was the speaker. It was such a great weekend away. The topic was the Eternal Bridegroom. Conni talked about Jesus all weekend from the perspective of Jesus as our Bridegroom. It was so good and has helped me to look at my relationship with Jesus in a new way that I really believe will deepen my relationship with Him. I had always looked at Jesus as the Bridegroom for the church, which of course He is but I had never really thought about Jesus as my Bridegroom. I know that may seem silly that I hadn't thought of Him that way but I am so thankful for this new dimension to my relationship with Him. While I was up at the retreat and all of this was fresh in my heart I wrote something I would like to share.
I want to tell you a story
A love story
Now I know
That may be a surprise to you
I’m not normally drawn
To love stories
But this one
So captured my heart
I feel compelled
To share it with you
It starts
As most love stories do
With a young girl
Happy, innocent, kind of starry eyed
Her life wasn’t perfect
There had been bumps in the road
But life still seemed
Like a great adventure
And she was ready
To take it all in
Her grandmother
Who loved her with all her heart
Always wanted the best for her
And had met someone
The young girl just had to meet
If she could have arranged the engagement
She would have
But the choice had to be
The young girl’s
But the grandmother made sure
Any chance she had
To tell the young girl
About this Man
She took
She told of His love for others
How kind and gentle He was
How strong His character was
When others
Were talking about this Man
The grandmother would take her
To hear all about Him
In hopes
The young girl
Might fall in love with Him
And choose Him
The young girl was amazed
At the stories
About His love for her
And shocked at the lengths
He went to
To demonstrate His love
For her
The grandmother was right
She couldn’t resist
The love she saw in Him
And the young girl
Accepted His proposal
To be His bride
He had to go away
To prepare a place for her
So she could be with Him
Forever
It was hard to be apart
But He left love letters
For her to read
So she would always know
How much He loved her
They talked often
And she read His letters
Over and over
But as time past
And the young girl grew older
The fire of that young love
Began to grow cold
She tried hard to be true
She longed for Him
To return
But He continued to tarry
And she began
To look to other things
And other people
To fill her heart with love
It happened slowly
At first
But eventually
She turned her back on Him
She walked away
From her first Love
She betrayed Him
She loved herself
More than Him
Even after all He had done
She loved another
He never left her
Though she ran from Him
He still protected her
Though she put herself in harm's way
He still loved her
Though she ran to other lovers
He couldn’t force her
To return to Him
So He waited
And watched for her
Day after day
But her heart
Had grown so hard
But one day
He spoke to her
Through a special friend
And the ice
That had covered her heart
Began to melt away
The fire of that first love
Began to spark and grow
She was so ashamed
How could He possibly
Still love her
Still want her
After all this time
After all she had done
But He had been waiting
And watching
And when she
Turned her gaze to Him
He ran to her
Wrapped her in His love
And that love
That was just a little spark
Erupted into a blazing fire
She remembered His love letters
And began to read
With new eyes
And a new heart
And a pure love
She talked with Him daily
And their love just grew and grew
He reminded her
That He was coming for her
He loves her so very much
And He can’t wait
To be with her
But the time has not yet come
For Him to return for her
So for now
She waits
With eager anticipation
For her Bridegroom to come
And make her
His beloved bride
You might think this story
Is too good to be true
Who could love someone like that
But I tell you
Every word of it is true
For I am the girl
In love with Jesus
My Bridegroom
And one day soon
He will come
For His bride
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Forks in the Road
I have been very reflective the last couple of weeks. This month marks my 10 year anniversary of living in Southern California. It is so amazing to me that I have been here that long. I remember at one time saying I would never live in Southern California. Don't ever say you will never do something. We don't always know what God's plan is and sometimes the place He needs to take us to is the very place we don't want to go to. Ten years ago I came to a fork in the road. As I approached it, everything in me wanted to turn left. Left was where I thought my future was but I had to turn right. I was sure I was making a huge mistake. As I forced my car to veer to the right, lots of tears began to flow. You see to the left was someone I cared about; to the left was were I thought I would find love; to the left I thought I had found some security. But I was running from God and I had been running for some time and even though I had taken the "right" fork, I was still running.
Why was I running? I had turned my back on God and everything that I had once held as precious. I had made a choice to live for me and when you are living for yourself there is no room for God. There were people who knew something was wrong and just either didn't know what to say to me or just didn't want to get involved. Not that I blame them. I wouldn't have listened to them anyway. I remember one friend, Jennifer, asking me point blank. "What are you doing?" My answer may be a surprise but I was in a really bad place so I said to her, "Whatever I want!" I was done living by everyone elses rules. I was ready to make all my own rules and I was going to finally be happy. I tried really hard to convience myself that I was happy and that all these choices I had made where making me happy too. But you know what, now, ten years later, looking back, I was not happy. It was probably one of the saddest times in my whole life. I have never cried more in my life than I did during that period of running. I was even physically sick at times too. The ironic part is that all those choices I had made actually lead me to that fork in the road ten years ago.
Even though I thought everything I wanted was to the left, God knew better and even though I was running from the Lord, He wasn't running from me. He was actually running ahead of me, preparing the way and that right turn at the fork was all a part of His plan. I could never have imagined what God had prepared for me, what He had planned for me, but Jeremiah 29:11 says, ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.' And what a future and a hope it has turned out to be. I hear people quote that verse all the time, but really you can't read verse 11 without reading verse 10 because verse 10 gives you the context and it even becomes more meaningful. Verse 10 says, “For thus says the Lord, ‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place." He was telling them that even though they were in captivity and that being in exile in Babylon was a punishment for their sins; He was not finished with them. He would not be putting them on a shelf but when the time was right, He would bring them back because He had a future and a hope for them.
God had a future and a hope for me and yes, there are consequences for my sinful choices, but that didn't change the future and hope He had planned for me. It took me a long time to accept His future and hope for me. I kept thinking He would never want to use me again after all I had done, but that's not how God works. In His loving grace, He opens up His arms of love to us. We just need to accept it and move forward in the future and hope that He lays before us.
Have you come to any forks in the road? Do you want to turn left but the Lord is leading you right? Trust the road to the "right", it will lead to His future and hope for you.
Why was I running? I had turned my back on God and everything that I had once held as precious. I had made a choice to live for me and when you are living for yourself there is no room for God. There were people who knew something was wrong and just either didn't know what to say to me or just didn't want to get involved. Not that I blame them. I wouldn't have listened to them anyway. I remember one friend, Jennifer, asking me point blank. "What are you doing?" My answer may be a surprise but I was in a really bad place so I said to her, "Whatever I want!" I was done living by everyone elses rules. I was ready to make all my own rules and I was going to finally be happy. I tried really hard to convience myself that I was happy and that all these choices I had made where making me happy too. But you know what, now, ten years later, looking back, I was not happy. It was probably one of the saddest times in my whole life. I have never cried more in my life than I did during that period of running. I was even physically sick at times too. The ironic part is that all those choices I had made actually lead me to that fork in the road ten years ago.
Even though I thought everything I wanted was to the left, God knew better and even though I was running from the Lord, He wasn't running from me. He was actually running ahead of me, preparing the way and that right turn at the fork was all a part of His plan. I could never have imagined what God had prepared for me, what He had planned for me, but Jeremiah 29:11 says, ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.' And what a future and a hope it has turned out to be. I hear people quote that verse all the time, but really you can't read verse 11 without reading verse 10 because verse 10 gives you the context and it even becomes more meaningful. Verse 10 says, “For thus says the Lord, ‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place." He was telling them that even though they were in captivity and that being in exile in Babylon was a punishment for their sins; He was not finished with them. He would not be putting them on a shelf but when the time was right, He would bring them back because He had a future and a hope for them.
God had a future and a hope for me and yes, there are consequences for my sinful choices, but that didn't change the future and hope He had planned for me. It took me a long time to accept His future and hope for me. I kept thinking He would never want to use me again after all I had done, but that's not how God works. In His loving grace, He opens up His arms of love to us. We just need to accept it and move forward in the future and hope that He lays before us.
Have you come to any forks in the road? Do you want to turn left but the Lord is leading you right? Trust the road to the "right", it will lead to His future and hope for you.
Friday, October 3, 2008
New Study--New Challenges
On Monday nights at church we have a Bible Study group for women called Dwelling Place. We have been meeting for almost a year and a half now and God has done lots of great things in the lives of the women who come as well as my own. We are just beginning a new Beth Moore study called Living Beyond Yourself. It is a study of the fruit of the Spirit so obviously the main verses for the study are Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
In this first week (since context is always key in Bible study) Beth is doing an overview of the book of Galatians. I just finished day 2, on Galatians ch. 1 which was titled "Pleasing God." Seemed harmless enough but the Lord knew just where I was and just what I need to hear and learn. This lesson was no exception. It was page 17 that hit me over the head with a two by four. That whole page is centered on Gal. 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Why did this verse hit me so hard. Couple of reasons, one, it is something that I have struggled with a lot. As a kid I really tried hard to please others. I really didn't like when someone was unhappy with me. Those same behaviors and feelings followed me into adulthood also and got me into serious trouble at times. It is something that I have tried to surrender to the Lord. He is helping me to see the times when I am working to please people and not Him.
The second reason it hit me was because I had fallen into this behavior again just a few days ago, the first night of the study. When you are trying to please people it is impossible to live out the fruit of the Spirit. In the end I gave away my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I allowed frustration, irritation, pride, selfishness, harshness and all sorts of other things rule over me. It is not a good place to be. In fact, it is a miserable place to be and I couldn't blame anyone but myself. One of the definitions for the Greek word for please is "to accommodate oneself to". How enslaving is that. The only person I want to accommodate myself to is the Lord. So the Lord had to show me again that my job is to please Him and then serve others. There is a world of difference between serving others and pleasing others. I think I need to make myself a little sign for my office that says, "Please God, serve others." Maybe it would be a good reminder for me and God won't have to use as many two by fours on me.
In this first week (since context is always key in Bible study) Beth is doing an overview of the book of Galatians. I just finished day 2, on Galatians ch. 1 which was titled "Pleasing God." Seemed harmless enough but the Lord knew just where I was and just what I need to hear and learn. This lesson was no exception. It was page 17 that hit me over the head with a two by four. That whole page is centered on Gal. 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Why did this verse hit me so hard. Couple of reasons, one, it is something that I have struggled with a lot. As a kid I really tried hard to please others. I really didn't like when someone was unhappy with me. Those same behaviors and feelings followed me into adulthood also and got me into serious trouble at times. It is something that I have tried to surrender to the Lord. He is helping me to see the times when I am working to please people and not Him.
The second reason it hit me was because I had fallen into this behavior again just a few days ago, the first night of the study. When you are trying to please people it is impossible to live out the fruit of the Spirit. In the end I gave away my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I allowed frustration, irritation, pride, selfishness, harshness and all sorts of other things rule over me. It is not a good place to be. In fact, it is a miserable place to be and I couldn't blame anyone but myself. One of the definitions for the Greek word for please is "to accommodate oneself to". How enslaving is that. The only person I want to accommodate myself to is the Lord. So the Lord had to show me again that my job is to please Him and then serve others. There is a world of difference between serving others and pleasing others. I think I need to make myself a little sign for my office that says, "Please God, serve others." Maybe it would be a good reminder for me and God won't have to use as many two by fours on me.
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